NVCaucus.com -- Democrats for Trump

The High Desert Outback of the American Dream 7-15-2015 (U-News) — I was shaving so I'd look less like a werewolf on Sam Shad's show when it hit me: Democrats need Donald Trump.

Who better than me to make the case? After all, didn't I start the None of the Above for Governor Political Action Committee in 1982? Didn't we successfully embarrass both Gov. List the Lustful and President Ronald the Vague on their way to a joint appearance at UNR? (See below.) Didn't NAGPAC force changes in the List administration's abominable mental health care system? Didn't my late wife and I end up drinking with the well-armed Secret Service at Delmar Station Saloon? Didn't those guys help RPD bust a carjacker in the alley behind the bar one night when we were there? Didn't I make Reagan's buddy Sen. Paul Laxalt a lame duck more than two years before he announced his retirement to go into juice brokerage at a DC law firm?

In the spirit of NAGPAC and all the NAGPACkians who have departed for the big ballot box in the sky, it's time to again saddle up and laugh Nevada into reality. We will take advantage of the seething apathy that acquitted the great unwashed so well at the 2015 legislative session.

Why support professional bankruptcy perpetrator Trump? Because he's Nevada's kind of huckster. Sharron Angle without religion. Michele Fiore without conviction. And he wears Vegas hair in the grandest tradition of Democratic LV Mayor Jan Jones and defrocked Republican Nevada U.S. Senator John Ensign.

If we play it right, he can be the Ross Perot of 2016 and I am going to encourage him to do just that. I know he's married so (I hope) he can't make moves on my fiancée, Assemblymember Machine Gun Michele Fiore, R-Gomorrah South, but maybe he can be persuaded to put her on the vice-presidential ticket. Or adopt her. Anything to get her out of Nevada. (My proposal of marriage still stands, even if she wants to come to Chapel of the Chimes wrapped only in a Confederate flag on her back. Or she can drop it.)

Democrats for Trump is extremely democratic. We would be honored to enlist Republicans, Independents, Whigs, Tories, Labourites, Jacobins, Jacobites, Confederates, Communists, anarchists (aka Libertarians) and even Mugwumps to serve the great one's cause. (Would that make us Trumpwumps?) We don't discriminate for any reason, the least of which is party affiliation.

The first thing to do when launching a campaign is to think branding, like on a horse's rump. This is nothing if not a rump movement, after all. (Go look up the origin of "mugwump.") The logical logo for Democrats for Trump would be a bridge. After all, a trump is a very positive term in the card game of bridge. Mr. Trump is a notorious gambler in every aspect of his businesses, be it Atlantic City, Gomorrah South or U.S. Bankruptcy Court.

Right after I mentioned the bridge logo on statewide TV, I was contacted by New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie's campaign. He apparently considers the bridge as his personal political trademark and would sue me if I used it. I didn't want to irritate the big guy who apparently wants to have his cake and eat it, too.

Cake. That's it!

The Democrats for Trump logo should be a five-layer cake: A white layer on the bottom because whites are the base of the Republican Party. Another white layer goes on top because that's where reside the successful over-achieving winners whom The Donald most respects.

The middle layers should be chocolate, yellow and red velvet cake so that all the voter demographics are covered. Some of the frosting can be green as a sop to global warming hoaxers.

I hereby declare the campaign logo design contest open. The winner will get a nice prize or prizes, probably lunch with me and another political lowlife or two. My kinda people.

So there you have it: The ghost of None of the Above rises from the ashes to bring a homeopathic remedy to Campaign 2016: Treating burgeoning insanity with more of the same. A hair-of-the-dog kinda thing for when politics is a bitch.

Who knows? As we said back in our NAGPAC days, perhaps one day we'll elect the whole horse for a change.

Be well. Raise hell. Esté bien. Haga infierno.

Andrew

All logo design entries and applications for membership apathetically accepted.

Bonafides: Andrew Barbano's Republican Party credentials
A memoir from Nevada's undercover Reagan-Bush PR man
Slightly updated 6-6-2004 from the 8-2-1992 Daily Sparks Tribune original